In yesterday’s post I wrote about staying calm and trying to get through sleep regression and the Wonder Weeks. Today is the other end of the spectrum…losing your sh*t. It’s okay, as moms we all do it sometimes. Coincidentally, for me it was last night. It’s as if my son knew I had just written a post about trying to enjoy even the hard times.
While I try to adhere to attachment and gentle parenting, sometimes I just can’t hold it all together. I’m a stay-at-home mom, so I’m lucky enough to spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with my son. While this is mostly a good thing, sometimes it makes me lose my sh*t.
Lately, the weather has been below zero so leaving the house has been a nonexistent option. Partner this with sleep deprivation and regression, nap boycotts, fussiness, minor medical issues, hangry mother, and a husband who works late hours and you get a mom who loses her sh*t. This was most definitely me last night.
I said yesterday that my son has been extra fussy and not sleeping. Well last night was the worst he’s been since we came home from the hospital and he had his days and nights mixed up. He would not sleep for life of him. Once he finally fell asleep after 3 hours of intermittent fussiness and crying spells, he would not let me set him in his crib. Finally, after a couple of feeds he eventually went to bed and mom was able to get a few hours of shut-eye. During this time I sent my husband in the other room to get some sleep. He works all day so I hate keeping him up when he can’t do anything to help me out. Also during this time, I quietly yelled a few things like, “Why are you doing this?” And “Just go to bed!” This is where I lost my sh*t. Once I get to this point, I usually feel guilty for what I said and I start to unlose my sh*t. I know my son is growing and needs me to stay calm but sometimes things just add up.
I’m glad that once the pot boils over, I can bring myself back to reality and be the gentle mom that I want to be. Sometimes it happens and that’s okay. Just know you’re not alone in this journey of motherhood and it’s okay to lose your sh*t. Just make sure you keep it all in perspective and return to your motherly ways. The relief after one of these spells feels like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I’m doing the best I can and I know I’m a good mother. We can’t always hold it together and that is perfectly fine. We’re raising tiny humans and it’s okay to lose your sh*t sometimes.